This terrorist world, and other worries.

Saturday, 19 August 2017



A lot of people use the argument of bringing a child into "this" world as a reason not to have children, and this is something I think of quite often. After the last few months of utter chaos in the UK, and in the world, I have thought to myself oh my god, what am I doing, subjecting my daughters and sons to this carnage? But then I see the way the world reacts (sans our government, sadly, but that's a work in progress, c'mon Corbyn!) and my heart lifts a little bit.



They say to look for the helpers, and I do, and out they come in their hundreds and their thousands, donations of clothes and food and money and warmth and care. When shit hits the fan there is always somebody there to help clear the mess. That's the world I'm bringing my children into. I'm not bringing them into a world of constant terror, and death and sadness – it's rife, don't get me wrong, I know that. I know that every moment is a risk of something happening, a car accident, knife crime, terror attack, every moment it's possible that something could happen, especially when you live in a city as mental as London, but it comes hand in hand with, and often is overshadowed by, the good things.

I have never been one to particularly like other people, but that is on a personal level, I am very much of the belief that the majority of people are inherently good.

But you know what bugs me the most? Terrorism of this scale doesn't scare me. More chance of a drunk driver during the day than a crazed ISIS asshole. Life itself, I suppose, is more of a threat.

More chance, it seems, of an acid attack for absolutely no reason these days, than a terrorist attack. These acid attacks, the blatant acts of malicious violence, reasonless, are the thing that makes it difficult for me to continue believing that there is goodness. I wonder why are there people like this? What motivates them to lash out like this? Is it the way they are raised, their culture, that dictates what they see to be as a "necessary evil" maybe? (I think attacks mainly originated in South Asia, and were against women who had upset the men in their lives one way or another, correct me if I'm wrong.) But then isn't that just tarnishing a whole load of people with the same brush by what a few obviously fucking awful people have done? (It is.) So do these people, individuals, not understand that it's not acceptable, or are they just plain evil? How does one recognise these individuals when we have the driver of the Charlottesville car, or the men behind the Rochdale Girls abuse, or I don't even know who else.

And then I hear about sexual assault and rapes, which are way more common than a terrorist attack, and I fear for my daughter in this world that doesn't care about her (another reason, selfish maybe, why I had wanted a son) and sees her as a lesser thing, a thing to be used. I want her to grow up happy, but I want her to be angry by nature, to be angry and wary [on behalf of others] before she is given a personal reason to be. How do you raise a child like that without making her paranoid? Without sounding paranoid yourself? Am I supposed to teach her to walk with her keys between her fingers at all times, regardless, and to attack first, ask questions later?

It would have been easier to raise my son not to do those things than it will be to raise my daughter to avoid them. She can't avoid life.

Even if, let's say, she decides she isn't a girl at all. There's a whole other load of troubles. Trans people go through a hell of a lot of shit. Female to Male do (maybe?) eventually get to a point where their female characteristics are no longer recognisable but who knows how trans people will be received by the time that would ever happen. May not be any better anyway. And we all know that being male is not guarantee that you won't experience any kind of violence or assault.

It's not moral to be Mother Gothel, really, is it?

I suppose, though, we all just have to take care of one another as best as we can, and that's all we can do. I can't stop her from doing things, just as I don't stop myself. I went out the day after the attacks in London and had completely forgotten to be afraid because of it. Defiance, anger, pride, guess it's all we've got.

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